I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
