NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
