Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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