he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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