that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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