he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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