Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
