..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
