Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
