You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
