he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize
