Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
