I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
