I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
