i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
