she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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