ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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