smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
