when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
