Ambien. No doubt about it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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