Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
