you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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