it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
