apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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