There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The feeling are messing with the penis
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
