I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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