dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
