Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
