the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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