The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This baby is an asshole
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
