eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You smell like stripper and shame
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
