I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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