I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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