As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
