"it" just moved
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
