i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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