He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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