Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
