i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
