u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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