You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
