I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
