There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
