is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's shark week go big or go home
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
