I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
