I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Someone signed my nipple.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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