he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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