He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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