1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
