Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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