Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
