I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
